What to do when the same old song keep playing over and over in your head?

I’m up in Whistler, BC, Canada taking a training in how to Mesmerize Your Audience from my awesome coach, Callan Rush and her amazing team.

We are learning how to use the 5 Elements (Earth, Fire, Wood, Metal, Water) to become more fully present, vulnerable, authentic and effective as speakers.

Screen Shot 2016-04-19 at 9.44.48 AM

Sheena Marie, our talented and gorgeous voice teacher, said something that really stuck with me.

Because she’s a singer, songwriter and musician, she used a musical analogy.

She told us “The influence of your outer voice is equal to the influence of your inner voice.”

And that the inner voice is like a DJ that picks what to play when we get hurt.Screen Shot 2016-04-19 at 9.50.37 AM

Here’s how this plays out for me.

Being the youngest of 6, I was often told, “You’re too little. You’re not big enough.”

And my mom always introduced me as “The Baby,” even when I was 20 or 30.

So my DJ plays songs, over and over, that go like this.

I’m too little. I’m not big enough. I’m the baby.

I’m too little. I’m not big enough. I’m the baby.

I’m too little . . .

OK, so how do I get rid of that DJ, or teach him new lines? I wondered.

Sheena Marie, as if reading my mind, asked us, “How do you get rid of that? You don’t! But you get to choose what you listen to.”

She told us the story of 2 wolves.

One wolf is optimistic, cheerful, enthusiastic, courageous and going for it. This wolf is a joy to be around. He’s loving and playful and fun.

The other wolf is a real downer. This wolf is negative, doubtful, critical, judgmental, nervous and always sees the worst in others and in the situation. You feel bad the moment he walks into the room.

“Which wolf wins?” Sheena Marie asked us?

“The wolf you feed.”

So even though I can never fully get rid of the DJ playing the “You’re too little. You’re not big enough. You’re the baby,” song over and over and over, I do not have to let it rule me.

I do not have to believe it. I do not have to feed that wolf.

I do not have to listen to that old song.

Yes, I will always be “the baby” of my family. But I can play new songs, while letting the oldies fade out into the background.

What new songs do I choose?

I am big enough.

I’m a leader.

I am a trusted authority.

Now, you may be wondering, as I was . . . if you completely turn off those old songs . . .

“How do you turn down those sad old songs the songs your Inner DJ plays and turn up the new, empowering ones?”

That is SUCH a great question, and the subject of all the MOJO work I do with my clients.

How to Change The Songs Your Inner DJ Plays

Here’s a list of 10 ways you can hear much more from the Inner DJ who knows you can do it and is here to support your strength and growth:

1. Tell yourself, “I love you,” every day.

2. Tap the Morning ROAR

3. Keep a gratitude journal. Instead of a list, write 3 or more sentences explaining why you’re grateful for what you write. MUCH more effective in giving you the research-proven benefits of gratitude.

4. Do something that scares you . . . every day

5. Embrace your fears. Your courage and confidence will naturally increase.

6. Take stock of what you’ve learned – you’ll recognize your growing strength (like I did here after my first Tap Into Money World Summit)

7. Eat food that makes you stronger and feel great, like this Green Smoothie for Entrepreneurs

8. Step up in a BIG way (maybe lead your first live event like I did).

9. Assert that your courage is greater than your fear. Here’s a tapping script for that.

10. Use Resistance Tapping to get unstuck, when the needle gets stuck in the groove and that old song plays over and over

So I ask you . . . what old songs does your inner DJ play that aren’t serving you any more?

What are the hurtful phrases that play, over and over in the background for you?

Are you ready to stop feeding that wolf?

If you are, what do you want your DJ to play instead?

I’d love to hear. If you’re ready, let me know in the comments.